apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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