My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Randomize
