She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
