god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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