at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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