I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
operation harelip BJ is a go
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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