No, drunk sperm still make babies.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
be right there i have to get my cape
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
