Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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