Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
its liver damage thursday
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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