your room smells of hookers.
And success
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
