Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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