I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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