i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
