Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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