need another drink. this is the easiest way
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
