I accidentally had phone sex last night
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
