Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Randomize
