I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
