Porn is love you can see.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
