peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Randomize
