My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
