So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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