She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
