two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
