batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
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