you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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