are you still at the devil's house?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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