its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
