nut hugger
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
