i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
