Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
