I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
