I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
