Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
