She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Randomize