oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
