Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
