This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
