I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize