shes about as inviting as chlamydia
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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