whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
