I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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