So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
