just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
