you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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