This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
