What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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