ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
