Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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