Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
The adults are the big ones right?
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